Can Men Really Be Thinking of Nothing?

In episode 8 of the AboutyourMother.com podcasts one of the women I was interviewing, Beth Bloom related a story her friend had told about her friend’s boyfriend. In the podcast we were talking about men and women’s perceptions of how men engage in gender. Beth said that her friend had asked her boyfriend what he was thinking and that the boyfriend responded, “Nothing”. This struck Beth as both amusing and…

  • By Kenny Benjamin MA,MFT
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Living in the NOW: Yesterday, today, and tomorrow?

When you hear the phrase, “Living in the Now”, what comes to mind? Do you think of mindfulness and being present? Do you imagine being able to focus on the precise moment in which you are engaging and keep thoughts of the past and the future out of your head ? Were you taught to meditate and to let thoughts come in and out but not hold on to them?…

  • By Kenny Benjamin MA,MFT
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Keeping romance alive after you’ve had kids?

What do you think when you hear a parent (usually a woman) say, “My children come first” a) Of course they do  b) I feel sorry for her spouse or partner c) If her children come first, does that mean everybody and everything else comes second and is that a good thing? When I ask people this question I almost always get response (a), followed by the comment well they…

Does stability crush desire?

So you wake up one morning and you look at the woman still asleep in the bed next to you. You realize that you’ve been together 17 years as you hear the 4 year old quietly at first calling for mommy and hear the 17 year old just getting in from a night of partying. Question: What is your first reaction? What do you do first? a. run to the…

Regretting the Regret

  I’m a 46 year old man and if I asked you what a 46 year old man in our culture should be or should have or should have accomplished, what would you say? What is the socially and culturally authorized definition or truth that is applied to a 46 year old man in this culture? If I told you that I spent the last 20 years since graduating from…

  • By Kenny Benjamin MA,MFT
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