Regretting the Regret

 

I’m a 46 year old man and if I asked you what a 46 year old man in our culture should be or should have or should have accomplished, what would you say?

What is the socially and culturally authorized definition or truth that is applied to a 46 year old man in this culture?

If I told you that I spent the last 20 years since graduating from college building a business that is successful and that has brought me material wealth, would that put me in the right box?

If I told you that I invested well, had a nice home, 2.4 kids, and a great wife, would that put me in the right box?

What if I told you that in my late 20’s I was married, had a child, and a thriving business, but one day I got a divorce, quit my business, and became a stay at home dad.

What if I told you that my then 18 month old daughter and I spent the next few years playing in the park, guiding her through the inevitable struggles of growing up,  teaching her about relationship, love, and compassion, going on adventures, and getting to know each other and the world, but that I couldn’t afford to be a stay at home single dad.

As a result of this choice, I spent the next 3 years living on 98 thousand dollars of credit card debt which ended when my daughter started kindergarten and I ran out of the ability to go further into debt, would that put me in the right box?"

Two different stories, two different narratives, which one actually happened?

Which one puts me in the right box as a 46 year old man in this culture?

Regret?

What does one do when it comes knocking at our culturally proscribed doors?

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Kenny Benjamin.

 

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